Helping Orphans Succeed Through Compassionate Giving

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go down to the orphanages and bring some needed supplies. One of the things they need is cleaning stuff, toilet paper, and other items that are more mundane. Most people want to buy food or bring used clothing but in many cases they need other things such as cleaning supplies, new soccer shoes, and other items. At the present time I'm focused more on providing shoes for their soccer team as well as ensuring they have the basic supplies they need.

When you frequent these orphanages on a regular basis you come to realize that these kids have needs for love, affection, and a relationship. They begin to remember you and know your name. They grab your hands and walk with you to tell you something about their lives. They want to feel special!

That is one of the reasons why I want to spend some time working with them. They are pliable human beings that allow my activities to make a difference. One kind word, a few resources, and some encouragement and these kids can do some amazing things. We set them up for a better life their parents could not provide.

Of course my dog Chewy loved the attention as well. :)💓🐶🐕🐶

You may be interested in donating to a sustained non-profit that has been around for 26 years. They do a great job. If you would like to donate for the general need to sustain life through Corazon De Vida which is a U.S. based non-profit. https://www.classy.org/fundraiser/1984592

These kids need a ton of supplies.

Turning Fruit Into Sweet Business Through Marketing

Dr. Murad Abel

Marketing is an essential down to earth need of any successful business. Whether you actively marketing on social media or you provide great customer service for referrals you will inevitably need to keep people interested in your product. In the wine industry marketing takes a unique turn as businesses must blend image, atmosphere, service and quality to achieve their goals.

With a solid strategy and focused effort they can bring interest and excitement to their wine.

Spend some time in Baja or in Napa Valley and you will soon find luxurious wine mixed with beautiful environments. Wine enthusiasts from all over the world travel to the area to get their taste buds teased by the unique offerings of each winery.

Image: Each winery creates an image that makes statements about who they are, what they want to accomplish and what they hope to achieve. Successful images fit within the core wine demographic but still niche enough to attract high return customers.

Atmosphere: The atmosphere is what creates memories and returns. No one want to sit in a garage and drink wine out of a box. Providing the right atmosphere makes a big difference in the overall ability of people to get immersed in their environment to create the total experience.

Service: Service helps people to fell special. People don't spend money or buy things unless it is out of necessity or they will feel good about themselves. Service provides them with positive feelings and images of their worth within the business.

Quality: If you are going to spend your time traveling, vising wineries and savoring the flavors you do not want to be purchasing cheap dollar store wine. Make sure your offerings are some of the best.

Permission to reprint.

Helping New Entrepreneurs Find Their Market Value

94th Aero Squadron

New entrepreneurs have a great product and a great idea! They next great widget is going to hit the market by store. There is a problem! They have nooooo idea what that product is worth! This is particularly true with new product launches and unique products. The value is dependent on its market and to best improve your chances of launch success you would be best served by knowing how to find a value.

A product priced too high might fail just after launch and not be able to gain momentum with consumers. A price that is too low might generate a lot of sales but could end up damaging the long-term brand image of the company. Low quality and value is not something most companies want to be seen as.

Below are three methods you could use. They may be modified based on the individual circumstances and factors associated with the market.

Cost Method: The method of cost plus some safe margin. You should figure out what you need to break even and then what you need to make a reasonable return on investment. At this point you know what number is the bench line where above means you are doing better than expected and a little below means the product has ties up capital.

Perceived Value: Consumers may see different value based on their product. Typically they make some type of mental comparison and then determine what they would be willing to pay for that product. Sampling consumer price points can be helpful in determining what the wider market would be willing to pay.

Market Comparison: It is beneficial to compare your product and its features to similar products in the market to determine where it places. Depending on which strategy you plan on using, the market average becomes a type of benchmark. Know how your product's features line up against competitors.

Bullying and the Search for Domination! Boundary Creation as a Protective Tool-A 4

Bullying is a search for domination to help mitigate feelings of despair. It isn't about treating people fairly or treating people well. The ultimate goal is to put another down so to maintain one's status and self-perception. There are few legal protections for people who are victims of bullying as often laws don't step into protect people from social consequences. There are also few laws against sharing your opinion, getting your friends involved, sharing only part of the information, or manipulating stories. They may be despicable acts on their own but rarely constitute a legal violation unless malicious and directed. Because there are few protections one must continuously enforce boundaries and create distance until resolution has occurred.

Let me give you an example. A person used questionable biased comments around younger people. The act was more of carelessness than intentional....kind of a "duh...I have little understanding of diversity" comment. Its not that the person said those terms directly to the adult kids but that these terms were said in "ear shot" and could possibly be heard, or accidentally said at the wrong time, or encourage disrespectful attitudes with others. Concern was growing that rude, negative, or inflammatory comments are becoming acceptable in the group (i.e. inappropriate jokes, put downs, negative comments, gossiping, etc...)

1. In-out group dynamics that translates into "us" versus "them" mentality. When this occurs the needs of others are diminished and reduced. That can turn into carelessness about comments. and actions. One must address those issues quickly.

A parent feels concerned that these jokes exceed an acceptable limit and increased in intensity by a couple of adults. Because the kids are sensitive they simply don't need to be involved at all in any negative family dynamics. The concerned parent asks their siblings first politely and then more forcibly to please respect boundaries, watch what is said to the kids, and keep children out of adult affairs. A normally reasonable request in confidence becomes part of a campaign to character assassinate as the offended party retaliates and openly talks negatively in an effort to damage a reputation and implement control.

2. The bully is more concerned about how they look than ensuring a healthy environment. Bullying is self involved with little respect for the target or the potential outcomes.

In this example, one of the parents have their own children to contact the targets children....has "so and so ever said an inappropriate term to you?". The questions are not related to the issue and is not reflective of the concern. The child doesn't want to have problems, desires to tell the truth, and isn't sure what is going on so he replies in a text "no". The proxy children pass the response to one of the parents who in turn spreads it throughout their social networks as "proof" nothing wrong occurred. No one is wrong....there is only a need to be more aware of differences and how insensitive comments impact others (one of the reasons for the initial request to keep boundaries). In normal situations people are willing to adjust...but with dysfunctional patterns everyone is on the defensive.

The offered question wasn't related to the complaint and was an attempt to manipulate legitimate concerns. Until someone text them the children were shielded from controversy and were unaware. The problem was that the question directed to the child was inappropriate and an attempt to further ensnare the youngster into squabbles raising stress on them. The continuous involved of the kids starts looking a little like a type of punishment for making the accusation that boundaries have been violated. The question should have been better directed to the parents with, "have you ever used this term?" and "have you ever used this term at a family function?" If they grudgingly say "yes"....they have an opportunity to work issues out. Contacting the child is never the solution and was a willful violation of the the initial request not to get children involved in adult issues.

3. The bully purposely miscues information to make sure that they look good and have "justification" for their abusive behavior. Distorting information is fairly common in almost all arguments but when it is used aggressively there are larger issues to be raised. It is impossible to fix problems if someone intentionally seeks to distort information to justify any claim that serves their interests. This is why open communication is better than indirect communication. Both parties must come to the "table" and be honest.

As they share the concerns the parent begins to look like they are "crazy" because each of their claims are invalidated without being fully heard (its intentional to force only one side). As a matter of point, they may have told the multi-racial child their parent is "crazy" for even trying to create protective boundaries in the first place. The concerned parent may be the only person in the group telling the truth. No one cares. They get more isolated as their legitimate concerns are de-legitimized. This is where real victimization starts to occur as children are hurt, families are broken and the target needs to withdraw to protect their family from a hostile environment. What was a natural parental issue now becomes an issue that requires distance for the sake of everyone simply because there is a lack of constructive solutions and a preponderance of immature behavior.

4. The bully "gas lights" to make sure that others believe the victim is at fault. Gas lighting means they distort the truth to gain influence over the other person. Such as, invalidate a concern.

The bully continues to spread lies and rumors and isolate the victim and in turn encourage others, including young children, to get involved based on a falsely aligned principle. They don't say they are doing this...they just sort of tell everyone they know, their kids who tell their friends, and they share information that was confidential and requested to be confidential. Someone investigating and reconstructing a timeline would be shocked at the lack of regard socially acceptable need to stay close to the truth. Truth doesn't always count in social situations and those who do engage in truth need to watch out about speaking up. Many times its just better to say nothing and create boundaries. Few things within that network from that point on make any sense as information is purposely distorted and people join a mob without critically thinking about the information presented. The original request to "respect kids boundaries" now becomes distorted.

In this case, the target must disassociate with the family in order to protect themselves and their children. They know that the more they stick around, the more angry people get, the more people manipulate information, the more they lie about issues, the more kids get hurt. If the initial attempt was to protect the child, and after numerous attempts to resolve the issue, they must come to difficult solutions. Protecting you and your children's rights to be treated civilly shouldn't rely on who has the most friends, who is willing to be the most dishonest, who has the social power to push their version of the truth, who is most brutal, and who is going to look like they are at fault (blaming the victim).

5. There are few protections for those who desire to maintain healthy boundaries.

When it comes to highly aggressive people who use social manipulation to gain influence, there will always be attempts to utilize these networks to damage people who have crossed them in some way (these patterns are learned in high school and childhood as acceptable methods of managing networks). The inappropriate behaviors were learned over years of practice. Such "rule the school" mentalities were not acceptable when we are young or when we are older. When it is used against family to maintain social status and domination it takes a new level of maliciousness. In the end, nothing good comes from aimless conflict where one side refuses to acknowledge the legitimate claims of another. When your voice isn't heard and your concerns are invalidated you must create bigger boundaries. Boundaries mean having little to no unnecessary contact with those who have done harm....at least until boundaries are respected.

Lets be more clear about the definition of bully. When the term here is used and applied it doesn't mean that a person IS a bully. What it does mean is that behaviors in that situation are bully oriented designed to unfairly influence a person, embarrass, harass, mischief, create unjust pressures, or punish a person for non compliance with personal expectations. Those behaviors are part of the typical definition of bully. It is an outward manifestation of aggression based on previous mental patterns.

Policy Lab organization that is working on clinical trials for people who have been abused. They try and connect patients to clinical trials. Excellent stuff! 
https://policylab.us/resources/clinical-trials-on-the-effects-of-bullying/

Here is some generic stuff on bullying... https://www.learnpsychology.org/now/bullying/

Most states have very poor protections for children. https://education.findlaw.com/student-conduct-and-discipline/specific-state-laws-against-bullying.html

A really good resource is Operation Respect. They believe that bullying starts with the personality of the parents. https://operationrespect.org/about-us/

You may want to read other related articles in a series to raise awareness. Why You Should Encourage Bullies to Get Help? Life Long Disruption

4 P's of Marketing as they Apply to B2B

The 4 P's of Marketing helps us view and review a company's offering to determine if it is within the most advantageous position. The P's are simple but helpful in gaining a greater understanding of what the market is willing to buy and at what prices. If you are a small business owner and you desire to skip over the 4P's you should beware. It is your money and your time to lose if you over invest in a product no one wants and no one is willing to pay for!

To lower risks and improve opportunities for success company usually conduct analysis before they jump all in on a product. They must know which product they are going to sell, the price they are going to sell, how they are going to promote it, and where their product fits into the market. We can say they are evaluating the "4 P's of Marketing".

The 4 P's apply to Business-to-Business sales as much as they do in retail. There are some differences in the volume, amounts, services, and competitors. With B2B relationships there is a longer commitment and contracts that ensure both parties are protected. Interactions are much more personalized as people develop individual relationships with businesses.

Product: Products are the center of the marketing approach. Some products are physical and some are intellectually based. Services are also products that can be sold traded and bartered. In B2B transactions the product warranties, stocking ease, just in time delivery, etc... are part of the product offering. They are purchased together to raise the value of the supplier.

Price: The price is found through evaluating the total product and its offerings against competitive products. If such products are not found the business will need to find a utility cost above and beyond the cost of manufacturing. When the perceived value of the product doesn't meet the company's profit potential the product is taken off of the market.

Promotion: If no one knows about your product you are unlikely to get many sales. Advertising gets your voice heard in a sea of competing messages. B2B sales are more focused and intense because there are greater amounts of money and longer-term established relationships. The way in which you find candidates will also vary from phone calls and cold calling.

Place: Place can be viewed as physical in nature, such as a place on a store shelf or a place of a store, but includes position within the market.  Where your product is located in comparison to its competitors is helpful in determining which type of clients offer the greatest prospects for marketing efforts.

Reviewing Life Changes and Goals

In life there are lots of twists and turns that lead to new paths and goals. At this point in my life I'm squarely into middle age and have watched how my goals and dreams have changed over the last 7 or 8 years. Friends are important, lifestyle is important, giving back to the community is important and my career is important. Some things that you once thought were sooo important sort of aren't anymore.

When we are really young we desire to fit in and have people like us. We create these social networks and find a place in society. As we age our relationships with people change and we begin to pick our friends more wisely.

Children come and get older and then we are left with ourselves. If we have great friends then we are doing well. If we have great health we are excellent! Throw some meaningful work into the mix and one doesn't have much to complain about at all!

Age also brings wisdom and the awareness that we may never truly achieve all of the goals we want. Most of the goals I wanted to accomplish, the ones that were important enough to sustain effort, were accomplished in one form or another.

Wisdom also starts to leak in and we find that new meanings from life must be drawn. This provides us an opportunity to grow and develop as a person. Some never change their goals beyond their own daily interests. Others can balance simplicity with cognitive complexity and a sense of wonderment at the world.

What every your goals are take some time to think about what you really like and don't like. Look to your past and look to those things that bring you a sense of pride and happiness.

Girls Soccer Club at Orphanage Needs Uniforms

The girls soccer team at the Ranchos De Ninos orphanage are in need of matching uniforms to replace their tattered t-shirts. Most of their competitors are well funded and have significant advantages not only in equipment but also in style. We would like to get them into presentable state by having matching jerseys. For a sense of pride the team can actually look like a formidable opponent. The price of obtaining these products in Mexico is much cheaper than other places (Give or take $160). 

If you are interested in helping this orphanage you can donate through the following sites. If you are in the San Diego area and want to personally get involved let me know and I'll connect you to the right people. 

Corazon de Vida: You can donate to the general fund of a supporting organization called Corazon de Vida. I have met with some of the senior staff and set up a fundraising page to draw more more interest in helping the kids  https://www.classy.org/fundraiser/1984592.

PayPal:You can send me money directly to my PayPal and I will give to the director. Please don't donate a lot of money to me directly (uniforms only). I can help you connect with the right person for that. I'm just helping with a small project here so it is charity oriented. You can find me on PayPal via muradabel@gmail.com and 619-540-0501.

Direct to Orphanage: You may also contribute directly to the orphanage website. The Corazon de Vida site and the orphanage site are general funds. So where you donate will depend on your specific interests. If you desire to go only for uniforms you may want to send that to me...if you want it to go to the orphanage in general I would send to the fundraising sites. http://www.rdln.org (The site doesn't appear to be working at the moment). 

I went down this past week to work with the kids and drop them some supplies for the holidays. Of course I brought my dog Chewy and the kids loved him! This orphanage has a few dogs and while they are very friendly they also are not trusting of outside dogs. Packs need to adjust and change to one another. The kids did a great job protecting him from overly curious potential pack mates! 😆

Some of the things that are going on at the orphanage include trying to utilize vacant land next door and sell grapes to wine making institutions. I suggested something similar and it seems they liked it. We will see how it turns out. Its not a bad idea considering they are in wine country and the land is fallow. Personally, I like the idea of just leasing it to an organic farmer if they aren't using it.