When is it beneficial to "dump" someone?

People get upset over dumping someone and avoid the sting of rejection. Sure its painful to break the bonds that you started to create. However, when "red flags" arise and you need to back away you can do so with some grace. Other times you may need to just make things abrupt.

Remember that the goal is not short term dating but long term bonding with someone who is capable of developing a meaningful deep relationship.  Not all people can. There are a few rules you can learn when it is wise to consider "dumping" someone.

Before you go headlong into breaking ties remember that there are times you can work out your differences by simply being honest and asking for clarification. If the other person doesn't want to respond or doesn't care enough to give straight answers they may not be the "one" for you. It takes two and if they are not in; then they should be out!

1.) Too many questions but not enough answers is a time to reevaluate the benefit of the relationship. If the person cannot answer direct questions you should let them go because they don't care much about open dialogue to clear up misunderstandings.

2.) Ditching their phone for long periods of time could mean they are busy but could also mean they may be dating someone else. If this happens frequently and always with a "friend" then consider asking about it and if you don't like the answer let them go.

3.) They are so self-centered your needs don't count. If you are trying to balance both persons needs and no matter how you discuss and bring it up they are just interested in their own things, all the time even when it impacts the relationship, consider re-evaluating.

4.) If the person doesn't pick up their part of the bargain and try to maintain equity in the health of the relationship. If they are sucking your money, time, effort and give little in return you might be getting taken advantage of.

5.) If the person lies, gets angry and criticizes.  Sometimes these problems can be worked out by having appropriate boundaries, but if they are always putting you down they are hiding deep insecurities.  The anger and lies are a sign they are not forthcoming and working on building a trusting relationship.

6.) They are pushing away. If you are trying to draw closer but they are chronically pushing away, hiding, going out, and not involving you then let them go.

7.) When they are trying to change you to fit an image they have of what they want out of a partner. We all could use some feedback for improvement but if this is just for image purposes then you may not be what they want out of a partner. Its a no win situation.

So what to do?

Try and address your concerns with them and if they can't work on it or have an honest discussion then put some space between you and them. Let them know that the relationship is ending and you will give them some time to think about what they truly want. Sometimes that sparks renewed effort. If they don't come around just let them go and move on to someone better suited. Win in the long run and forget the short-term worries. If they haven't learning anything will carry the same problems onto the next relationship, and the next, and the next.....

Leadership Confidence Gets Things Done

Leadership inspires other. We could spend all day talking about how being reflective, quiet, nice sweet and gentle are signs of leadership. While these are tools that should be taken out of the box when needed with certain individuals. Leaders have a vision and push others to achieve it. That difference of confidence and self-doubt make the difference between can do and maybe can do.

The traits of leadership.

1. Confidence: Belief in the ability to get things done, belief in self and belief that people can be better than they are.

2. Draw from Strength: They draw from their strengths and know their weaknesses but don't dwell on others. They encourage others but are not afraid to give constructive feedback.

3. Purposeful Reflection: They are willing to reflect on themselves and what they can do better but only if that reflection serves the purpose of doing it better next time.

4. Resource Draw: They collect and draw the resources they need to accomplish their goals. Always on the lookout for people, things, and situations that provide the best opportunities.

5. Willing to Take Risks: Willing to jump into the fire with a lion heart when others shirk from responsibility.

6. Intellectual Learners: They are learners and intelligent. Good leadership comes from having above average but not genius level intelligence.

7. Persistent: They never give up even when the odds are against them.

Research Should be Based on Organizational Strategies

We need another research your project and your not sure what you should be working on. Lets say that if the research doesn't have some practical use it isn't likely to give you much merit or allow you to move ahead in your career. Figuring out what research you should be doing should be based on the strategic plans of your organization.

Lets say your company needs to move into a new market but doesn't know how. They want to get to China but are struggling to understand the ins and outs of doing so. For in-house researchers this would be a great place to start. Sure...as heck...studying how daisies grow or whether or not more coffee improve productivity.

Many studies die from lack of relevance anyway.

First look at the available literature because there is a lot out there and plenty to work with. Get the overall picture and see what you already have and how it fits with your research interests. No need to reinvent the wheel when you can piggyback on others.

Once you have a good "picture" then find the holes that solve your specific problem. That becomes your research question (s). Go about designing, funding, advocating and eventually executing your study. If it turns out to be relevant others will want the information. If not, it becomes something that is printed in an obscure journal.

Calculating Your Budget

People should live on a budget in order to ensure they have enough money going into savings, recreation, housing and other stuff. It can be hard. Most people I know are not budgeting at all. They simply don't have enough savings. Here is a little budget tool that might help you make some choices.

https://www.epi.org/resources/budget/

Creating the Full Life

Life is full of choices. We choose activities based on our needs and preferences. Many of us don't create a full life and don't have horizons much larger than our backgrounds. I come from a small place in the world and I can say that about 60% of people have never traveled more than 2 hours drive from our hometown. But that isn't really the issue, it is the inability to explore those activities that cover the major needs for a healthy life.

I see there there are many needs but to have a well rounded life it is important to fulfill these few:

1.) Social: We need to socialize and having meaningful relationships. Lots of these will be just acquaintances but they still fulfill a purpose.

2.) Physical: The need to get out and move and improve ones physical abilities.

3.) Meaningful work: The need to do something we enjoy in a way that still pays our bills.

4.) Creative: An outlet on being creative and doing unique things.

5.) Intellectual: Spur our thinking and our brains.

6.) Purpose: Some time of overriding goal and theme to our lives.

If we work a little on each of these aspects we will have a well-rounded and meaningful life that is worth living. Going to work each day, going home, and watching reruns is not a full life. It is called a "rut" that limits our ability to grow as a person.

Low Impact but High Cardio Workouts

Low impact cardio is great when you are older so you don't damage your joints and create injuries. What I have noticed is that it can be difficult to get solid cardio with many low impact routines. However, this video does a pretty good job at it. I'm not a big fan of fitness bands but they are convenient and easy to use.

Technical Skills Needed in Marketing Curriculum

In the best case scenario college students should graduate with the ability to take on jobs as quickly as possible. This is an ideal we should continuously seek to achieve. However, there will always be a need for corporate training as education is often based on more broad skills. There seems to be a market need for ensuring that some technical skills are learned within the course so that needed job positions can be obtained. 

A study of marketing skills needed for entry, middle and senior level positions found that there are differences in the skills needed between these career phases (Schleel & Harich, 2010). Of the 500 marketing jobs reviewed from Monster.com there was increased emphasis on ensuring graduates have increased technical skills among all levels. Entry level candidates needed more skills than marketing knowledge while more senior graduates needed to analyze databases and use industry specific software. Oral, written and team building skills were also important. 

Ensuring that curriculum uses some of the most common marketing tools is important for giving students exposure to these systems for use when they finally work within their field. Theoretical knowledge is also important but becomes more important at higher levels of one's career. Entry level employees are doing basic "foot work" while more senior employees finding ways to use information to raise marketing effectiveness. 

Schleel, R. & Harich, K. (2010). Knowledge and Skill Requirements for Marketing Jobs in the 21st Century. Journal of Marketing Education 32(3) 341–352