The world
of negotiations requires subtle use of verbal and body language to effectively
meet objectives. According to a paper by Yuxian Zhang (2013) negotiations is a
process of coming to mutual benefit and reducing borders between sides. What we
say and how we say it can impact the success of getting people to understand
our point of view. Negotiations are all about sharing perspective and understanding
each other’s needs.
Language is the primary method of
negotiating in business. A famous negotiator by the name of Cohen Herbert
argues that negotiation is not about “winning by defeating the other party, but
winning by getting what both parties want”. This is not possible if the
language doesn’t draw people into a shared perspective.
Robin Lakoff argues that there are three main
principles in social linguistics that help to create politeness and shared
perspective that are beneficial in negotiations:
-Don’t impost your beliefs or rewrite the affairs of
others.
-Provide options and choices and let the other
decide what to do.
-Treat each other with fairness and respect to
create equality in the relationship.
The key is to understand others and ensure they
understand you. It is more possible to do so when the negotiation environment
is not testy or confrontational which closes down people’s openness to the
perspective of other. To do this well requires the use of verbal and non-verbal
cues.
Verbal cues are often rooted in our word choices and
verbs. Saying things like “you must” or “you are” keep the finger pointed in
the other direction while works like “we are” or “we should consider” draw both
sides into a shared perspective. Non-verbal cues are the facial expressions,
clothing, environment, and body language that contribute to the perceived
truthfulness and intent of other party.
The impressions may be as subtle as a simple look or
a brief impression. According to a Spanish philosopher by the name of Autauga, “the speaker’s eyes can tell you their inner
world”. When people are trying to
interpret a message they often look for other clues even though they may not be
wholly aware of them on a conscious level. Yet each impression they receive
impacts the meaning of the total message.
Moving beyond this report there is an important
concept of perspective taking that makes its way throughout the entire
negotiation process. If a person cannot
mentally reverse themselves and see the world through the opposing side’s view
they will not be able to see their perspective nor find the right words that
help them come to the same conclusions. It is nearly impossible without the use
of pure force to come to a mutual understanding if there is no ability to walk
in another person’s moccasins.
Read about how communication creates higher shared cognitive models HERE
Read about how communication creates higher shared cognitive models HERE
Zhang, Y.
(2013). The politeness principles in business negotiation. Cross-cultural communication, 9 (4).
