Hate is such a destructive force and those who wield its hammer often do so for very dishonest and dark reasons. The environment that allows for such hate is more concerning then the hate itself. We know that there are distorted souls out there that use hate for self-enrichment, avoid responsibilities, and to create power over others. Yet its the clan around them that determines whether such behaviors are accepted, rejected, encouraged, coordinated, reported, etc. through natural social mechanisms. When these social networks do not correct it opens up risks. (The larger community system did eventually recognize the inappropriateness of the behavior and adjust to create pressure to extinguish the narrative brought forward through hate. That is testimony to the good natured people of the area, the other factors and the ability to come forward for what is right and just. It is the social side of democracy that is rooted into our core belief in the value of other human beings. Not all countries have that!)
When I say value association I'm not talking about the things people profess as I'm talking about the deeper shared values based on language patterns, buying habits, group comparisons to others, and the many other real things that determine a person's internal values. These are the things you cannot hide because once your aware of how a person's (group) actions are realized through everything they do based on their deepest value systems you cannot be unaware (behavioral markers). Everything in this life is a choice and every time we make a choice we come to define ourselves more (We also do this as a nation.).
One of the reasons why there was a break with this clan was because they were quickly escalating when they found an opportunity to exploit difference for self gain (It doesn't take long for people's essential values to come out. Most of the time we call this toxic but in some circles we call it "cool".). Its deeper and more truthful than just saying "No I didn't do that, I would never do that!". Their actions indicated a poor group/clan narrative as it relates to people they don't like or they feel they need to overpower with aggressive behaviors. (As far as I know, no one can say I or my kids did anything to them other then enforce boundaries for inappropriate and destructive behaviors. Space was needed but so was accountability.).
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| 'Monkey playing a Cittern' from 1582 Slendor Solis 'The Spender of the Sun' |
Those factors might include a culture of racism/bigotry (through their words and the way they talk about others), exploiting kids (multiple times dumping on and involving children intentionally in a way that is harmful to multiple kids.), the need for wealth (large purchases, cars, clothes, etc. they can't afford but is needed psychologically to feel like they need to have to show their own value), constant comparison to others (A group habit of putting others down and artificially inflating their own self worth), aggressiveness (A history of bullying), mental health concerns (Strong indication of mental health issues), dishonesty and misuse of authority (A history of dishonestly and using social connections to damage others and enforce their distorted values and structure through intimidation.), etc..
While a couple of self interested people can coordinate hate based on the need to sort of cover past bad behavior, to sell that to a larger group means that the culture of hate already existed prior but needed the right targets to bring it out. This is the primary reason why we had a blow out because they were escalating, involving children, and damaging people without any concern for anything but what was going to be gained. There was a history of manipulation, conflict creation and misuse of networks. At the end of the day it appears that poor values, racism/bigotry (Black kids and Muslim names), a hidden potential prior crime, and perhaps even local corruption played a part in a large group attempted cleansing of minorities in "their town".
Let me be clear, while this clan has created their own environment with connections that allowed them to exploit their friends to get aggressive with a family, the wider community eventually rejected those values based on familiarity and more appropriate counter information (In different forms I suspect). The more they became familiar with me and my family, the more they rejected those values. As time goes on I suspect the rumors, designed to dehumanize "minorities" (...in a country of minorities. Take a good look America and ask yourself, "Is there a better way forward?"), and create a context for further violence (which almost broke a few times based on their group's aggressiveness) will be further debunked.
Imagine for just a moment that hate had a process that was repeated more or less in other places. Group bigotry, mixed with friends that can misuse authority, mixed with context of hate that devalues the group, mixed with blind eye affiliations, that result in the harm (maybe more) of those we don't like (Whatever that is...money, reduce psychological dissonance, raise prestige, etc.), and the list goes on. (I was going to include some studies but realized its supposed to be unscientific and unsupported dribble of ideas that likely have little value to anyone. As crazy as it sounds...)
At the day, I believe that much of the aggression has dissipated and there was a general sentiment that such behaviors are highly inappropriate and aggressive. That doesn't include everyone because they do have their blind supporters (Weaker personality people who won't break from hate support until its "unfashionable" to do so.). Yet in general, I can say that most of the hate problems have gone into the background and rejected by the community for the time being.
That doesn't mean its all over. It just means the initiators are afraid to act the way they did when they were given wink and nod immunity by a few clan affiliated local authorities (This does not reflect on the good officers and people doing good for their country and people.). This clan will likely continue to be a problem, and while they may not be so bold as before, I don't doubt we will be back here again in a few years based on their clan culture and default to the values of their leadership (Its interesting because their leader has amazing socials skills lacks in so many areas that functionally beyond rumor spreading and social bullying it is unlikely they would be able to accomplish much for their clan, community or country. Yet a group has bent their knee in their support with no questions asked even though that person struggled to understand deeper values much of their life.). They can't see themselves as doing anything wrong and based on that inability and how they rallied their wagons in support of intentionally destructive behavior means they for the most part can't be trusted because the clan narrative has not fundamentally changed.
(You have to change the narrative before you can change anything else. The fundamental way in which the symbolism of the group and how they view themselves in relation to the rest of the world is part of the intention marker. Consider that when we give lip service to values and the restraints are removed they will default back to their preexisting patterns. This is why I advocate for the reform of the department involved. Some of the officers misused their social connections to break some fairly important Constitutional guarantees for full citizens versus who they see as half citizens. The wider system has some different assumptions but some work is still needed in order to maintain long term trust with the soon to be majority of society. I think we can do it!)
It can be hard to fix the deeper psychological roots of hate, when they are in a group that socially supports such behaviors and feels they can do no wrong (A possible projection of the leadership's feeling of insecurity. The inability to see self and behaviors in the proper light Reflect back, reflect back, reflect back more appropriate and logical counter arguments to ensure the systems doesn't derail itself. It can in some circumstances, led to quick deradicalization of tertiary, but unwitting, actors of triangulation through forced implementation of more accurate information.). Usually, when a person is struggling with dark triad type mental health issues they would be best served by nicely encouraging them to take accountability for their actions and ensuring they recognize that such distorted behaviors harm others. However, if you view the others as low and "worthless" based on pre-existing bias then things get more difficult to subtly adjust.
As a society we might want to encourage universal application of values. What I say is out of a type of kindness to ensure such behaviors are not repeated, addresses the social side of issues, and with luck gives the perpetrators an opportunity to help themselves. I believe in positive, polite and good karma. Feel free to click off if you disagree. Of course if polite encouragement doesn't derail bad behaviors we have to increase the pressure to ensure they know there are lines that should not be crossed (like the one's I implemented). Such actions are protective in nature but doesn't necessarily solve the problem if there is no change in heart; ie soul searching (Something we should be doing collectively as a people.)
My current evaluation is still in flux. The wider system tries to do the right thing but has some struggles yet it is seeking practical justice (not necessarily essential). One department and certain aspect of the local system needs some corrective support. It isn't up to me to make that happen, but I can certainly create the momentum for pro-American reform. It is only within my oaths to make sure it's not given a wink and nod for the benefit of everyone with a particular focus on the needs of the young (Got that old geezers! Its not about us!). It just depends on how you define our values based on which networks and systems your discussing. Am I correct? Not necessarily, I'm just saying what I see based on my experience. A mostly positive but mixed with some bad that can be built on to create an outstanding high performing universal society that can meet our environmental challenges while preserving freedom for the next generation (If we can get out leaders to believe that the idea that America has value. Their choices will become more apparent as they wrestle for direction over this election cycle.)
A couple of things to consider...
1.) Help the perpetrators to get mental health help and live happy and free lives in better condition then when they started their aggressive behaviors.
2.) The wider group should be well aware that such behaviors are inappropriate and there are consequences to blindly supporting hate aggression (i.e. the smirkiness, mocking, lying, group aggression and complete failure to protect the needs of kids on both sides from the destructiveness of the parents. Its almost disgusting!)
3.) Fraternization rules and department reform would help to ensure that social connections and poor values no longer put minority or any other family at risk. When the targets are "worthy of hate" through the distorted values and narrative of the clan that should be an issue. Its not an issue in a 3rd world nation hoping to dissolve but it is a problem in a first world nation that needs its human capital to avoid being #2 in likely less than 10 years (I know! I Know! I have a Muslim sounding name and dark skinned kids aren't supposed to be part of America's future! I disagree and my line has been drawn. Reform is needed to improve that department's effectiveness, ensure they are trained well, have a healthy dose of respect for their fellow Americans, understand the agreements/social contract in the Constitution, and go through steps of continuous improvement to be better----unless that's not the essential goal. In this incident its only one department from what I can tell and the need to go through steps to improve is in the best interest of society when such behaviors occur. That doesn't reflect on the good officers within that department or other departments. Sometimes good officers are stuck in a poor departmental context emphasizing the values of their leadership through improper value expectation setting.)
(I want to make this point. I would rather protect the future then win some argument about the concept of authority and power. This isn't about jail time, this is about fixing problems. The long lost art of negotiation is used in the will to move past this so we can build a great town, county, and area that We the People can live or visit. Its not about punishing any officer or person, which is out of my control, as it relates more to reasonable guarantees of 1st world performance of the system versus bouncing along between 2nd and 1st. We are all in this boat together or we are not. When traversing a bouncing and often wild ocean it will be both the ship and the crew that will navigate into the squall. I used to be on a sailing team and see the similarities.)
4.) A review of the financial incentives of such hate. My personal belief is that this behavior is partly related to prior crimes that they wanted to distance and cover themselves from being brought to awareness. It was also context for a repeat pattern of self enrichment. At the end of the day, even if that money ends up going to charity then it is what it is and that is way better then rewarding bad behavior and teaching the rest of the clan and their watchers that such behaviors are rewarded and acceptable ( Money should have never been the primary concern. That should have been for the kids. To those who put stock into money as a the primary metric of their worth, they they should not be in leadership positions. This is an unscientific and unsupported article but if you have time look up internal versus external motivation and values. Maslow is a good thing to look up. Try "Maslow Hierarchy of Needs", "Internal and External Motivation" and "Sense of Belonging" It could be a contributing factor in how a huge percentage of society feels and wants to be fully involved in nation building but are often cut off by the poor values of leaders emphasizing tit for tat versus the needs of problem solving and in turn the needs of people. Press button blindly and discard any alternative explanation.)
5.) Let us throw some bonus concepts and knowledge into this article because you mad it this far down the page. What if we were able to solve this problem here and apply that problem nationally just like we are solving economic problems? We have struggled so long as a nation and need to start fixing issues like this so we can be a lean and high performing nation that ensures we continue to inspire many other nations with our pro-democracy walk-the-talk values all the way from the bottom to the top (Probably a dumb idea, discard quickly!)
Some light reading if you have time. Why I Write?, Priming Organizations, Ethical Intelligence, Cognitive Risk Engagement, Social Constructed "realities"
*This article is written to help you think and grow as a person. A little philosophy mixed in to further our understanding of the world in which we live. If the article is able to spark thinking, agree or disagree, to start solving problems then its a good thing. If it makes you screaming angry about "those people" then I guess that is a round about way of better understanding the landscape and that in one way or another is a good thing. Positive proactive change happens through discussion and the ability to see different perspectives so that we are able to resolve them on a national level and move on over the horizon through strong human capital development. This blog is about national development and growth. Its just a story for you to consider the next time someone tells you something about someone else's perceived value not derived from evidence based thinking. Stop and think about what the rest of the things are they didn't tell you and where those values came from. Avoid quick reaction until you have considered the other possibilities. In many ways our future as a nation rests on understanding and sharing the deeper value systems embedded into the stories just like this. Can you find it? Can you "see" the doors that are open and how entering one versus another changes the sequence of all the doors of choices after it. We as a nation will need to pick one! I have already chosen a universal democracy where we are on the same team and embrace helpful diversity based on a truer metric of merit to rejuvenate our American spirit through a " can overcome approach" to our currently rising challenges. or not? 🤷 My path has not changed. Polite, focused on solutions, not sugar coating, challenging, engaging, willing to accept apologies and doing my very best to find common ground. That common ground doesn't include turning my face in the other direction when glaring problems are blinding our understanding. I put my 2 cents on the card table. Try to avoid the temptation to steel them! 😳)
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