Truth and integrity are not easy to find beyond untested self-professed values. People work through all types of personal misperceptions about themselves, others, and the world around them (I'm not immune to that either but the difference is that I understand the subjectivity of perception. Its something that comes with divergent thinking.). Those that are most likely to see and encourage truth are the one's who are willing to question the most obvious things most of us take for granted every day. The elusive question of Justice theorists and victims search for is built on the foundation of truth and integrity. As with all mental constructions there are other practical considerations like what is best for society, what is feasibility, current laws on the books, case laws/outcomes, etc.....and still truth and integrity are (or at least should be) central to all of the decision making.
Why?
Justice is a system that allows people to bring their grievances forward that launches a process where truth and integrity are "discovered" through investigation, analysis and reflection. "The process" is not a perfect system and thus we must always pressure it to stick closely to truth and integrity to make it the best we can (Just go with it for a minute.).
Judges are also not perfect people and they make mistakes, misinterpret, get only half the facts, are mislead, derailed by faulty investigation methods, etc.... Despite their shortcomings judges still serve a vital purpose and that is to be the voice of society's truth and integrity (I know its an abstraction here but its still appear truth. Keep going with it....)
What happens when people who have done bad things walk without account because they are better liars, have unquestioning social circles, limiting investigation methodology, surrounded by corrupted law enforcement friends? (1 officer looks like he is trying to protect friends {He actually is a nice guy I think but I feel sad this situation is forced on him}, 1 appears very corrupt {with a history of complaints and bad acts}, and up to 5 that may be involved in other similar corrupt issues {likely in the same work group}.)
When the results are not in alignment with what happened (i.e. the truth) the entire system runs a future risk of default (We see the instability now and I believe with better research, metrics and greater understanding of differences in the Digital Era/Information Age we will help resolve a lot of crime through evidence based decision making that comes through better scientific measures and greater awareness. Meaning we use advanced science to discover and treat criminality for better societal outcomes. i.e. when to jail and when not. See Crime Stats).
In my case people spread lies to their friends and then told those lies to my children after I demanded they keep my kids out of harms way (Not to mention a concerning preexisting history of using the term "nigga babies"/Niggars, making racial/religious jokes, rude/aggressive comments/behaviors, shallow thinking, chronic gossip of others, loud attention grabbing behaviors, stating things like everyone wants to be like them, obsession with being "super cool" etc....). With enthusiasm they catalyzed their officer friend into an "active" aggressor by stalking, following home, and intentionally spreading that misinformation to other officers and the community at large (Dishonoring his badge for all the other good officers who rely on societal trust.). This poses a long term patterned risk for me and my family and I must ensure that such a threat is exposed and held to account (That is part of Justice and its normal for people to expect truth and integrity.)
In general societal standards one should never get children involved for money, pride/shame (They seem different but people with too much pride are often covering shame.) and power but some do not hold those values and could not care less. That is discounting my children's health and well being (not to mention my own). When such red lines are crossed it is more than an affront to bad judgement and moves into sadism that violates everything I know about being a "descent human being". The strategy seems to include 1.) seek out and falsify information, 2.) lodge false police complaints, 3.) use police friends to threaten and intimidate 3.) spread rumors to damage image and isolate. 4.) use friends and their positions within local institutions to ostracize and cleans "problem" (i.e. the dirty "Muslim" problem.), and 4.) deny any wrong doing at all times.
What is the end result?
Thus far it seems truth and integrity hasn't gone far enough. I'm an empathetic person so I know the perpetrators very well and their histories of narcissism mixed with dysfunction (That doesn't mean they don't have some good traits mixed in with the bad.). While a normal person would expect much much much more accountability a part of me hopes to ensure that they can get the help they need and live a genuine life. I know that they suffer from other issues that they keep hidden from the public and that creates many layers of false selves they display outwardly (If you know what to look for you can tell its fake.). So I have asked for mandatory mental health and an audit of missing money (What I can say is I want to walk out of this situation knowing that I have done the best I can under almost impossible odds to use good judgement to hold them to account, ensure that potential risks to the community are minimized, the bigoted propaganda has an alternative explanation, and I provided a win-win for them to get the help they won't get for themselves because of false ego-images. It is also the best strategic option that aligns with my values as it opens up the possibility of reconciliation once therapy and appropriate healthy boundaries are set on what is and isn't acceptable are in place. Its unlikely to happen and definitely not the same type of distorted relationship but hey...weird stuff happens all the time. 🤷 I'm not sure its wise to have my kids maintain much of a relationship but they are now adults and have to make their own decisions. I prepared them to better understand mental health, distortion, aggression and manipulation that sought to play on their still forming "selves" . The behavior was kind of sick and twisted so you have to be sure true remorse/change and healthier patterns of behavior versus "BS'ing" their therapist. 🤔 ...but I am just one voice and because I have chosen to have a multi-faceted inclusive belief about religion my thoughts and values have been discounted. That in turn means my children and their rights to a healthy life have also been discounted. I think what I say makes sense but to many within their social group, and perhaps society at large, it makes no sense at all. Trauma is a generational issue. Someone else's trauma was pushed onto my kids....that is not acceptable under any real or invented legal circumstance. It is a sacred value that reaches back to the development of society.)
I cannot say what the end result will be because I have no "crystal ball". What I can say is that certain behaviors should never be encouraged in our society and when they are, we have some deeper soul searching to do as a nation, as a system, as individuals. What I'm discussing here are not facts. They are explanations based on my experiences, what I know that is interspersed with first hand knowledge, and what would be supported by scientific literature. Investigations are what discovers the facts (as best we can) to create a plausible story that should not be based on the first story/narrative the perpetrators vomited out to their friend networks 🤮 (If all the perpetrators told the truth we have a near perfect Walden Pond society. So we should expect them to say what is in their own best interest. This can't be a new concept in law enforcement. If anyone/officer needs help in how to detect lies please let me know and I share a little of my methodology.).
I can pull lots of studies that sort of indicate what I'm saying makes logical sense (Please don't revert back to the "crazy" Muslim narrative again. Its getting overplayed! 🥱 Just in case your wondering but shouldn't be essential to the value of my arguments/logic. I'm an "All Faiths" cultural Catholic that shares similarities of vlaues with Muslim-Catholic-Judaism fundaments. I'm also a light right "Old Guard" Republican that believes my values and essential party values are more important than any specific juncture in history or any specific candidate. When I feel I no longer align I will state that specifically and that doesn't include accepting 100% of anything that spews out of other's mouths because I'm responsibility for my own values and opinions; as they/all politicians/leaders should be as well; if they are leaders worth following. That would require being stakeholders of the people versus stake holders of others/entity interest that are not in the best interest of the people. Bottom Up vs Top Down. Organic vs. Forced, Benefits All vs. Benefits Few, etc.. etc... root values...etc.. ). What I can state is that the best way to determine who is and who isn't most likely telling the truth is to look at a personals value systems (Not the one's they profess but the one's they consistently live by. Integrity is an internal value that impacts a history of behaviors. You can read a study on Integrity Traits.).
What was the strategy?
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| Oath of the Horatii Jacques-Louis David 1784 |
1.) Create boundaries to protect self and children by distancing. That includes cutting ties in electronic and physical formats. That may also include temporarily spending less time in the area and not hanging out with people who know them.
2.) Take sometime to figure out what is going on. Each of us has a different process and I figure things out through writing and reflection. I have figured some of it was unintentional mistakes (those who were mislead by false information but not malicious) and some of it was intentional (Those who didn't care and acted with malice). Who is part of what and the motives behind such behavior is difficult to decipher when you don't have all the information/intelligence but you have plenty of aggressive signals (Think about the dangerous ambiguity and the need to trace back every action to a motivation to determine which persons were "ok" but misdirected and which ones intended to do harm. Its important to keep it mind that there were a few that were trying to create context to engage in life threatening behavior that could have been pretext for "justified" homicide. Keep in mind one person was restricted help who I believe slipped into a comma and there is some indication another teen was raped and killed herself as a result of that officers choices. Others have complained as well and likely there are many more.)
3.) Help children heal. There was so much going on in this situation I still cringe that someone got them intentionally involved. While I was dealing with this group I was also trying the best I could to be supportive of my kids and their needs from harm and rejection. I did not know what they knew and what they did not know and the full scope of their involvement (Remember that kids sort of shut down sometimes but you can see the bio markers of distress.). Probably the most difficult time I have ever had needing to balance so many demands and try and take care of them (You think your morning commute is stressful...I have few things to complain about anymore. While such behaviors are considered disgusting as of late it seems the people involved are still justifying their bad behavior. It will be hard to justify moving into the sphere of my children. Money is still driving some of their choices and isolation issues with another person.)
4.) Fight the hate narrative (Reflect back truth). Because they intentionally spread rumors and got as many people involved as possible (No idea whatsoever what gets such people involved to act on the behest of their social "leader" without facts.) I needed to fight the narrative and protect myself from ill effects of what appeared to be corruption and group aggression. I had no choice but to go public to ensure a level of transparency. If something happened to me specific-general people would know about it and there would be a "trail" to follow.
5.) Create a sense of normalcy. One has to think about the long term health of children and self when put through a dangerous situation where harm was almost eminent (It was more likely something was going to happen then not happen here. I knew the odds and tried to change them.). When your have a Muslim sounding name all types of short ended things can happen to you (Remember I was told they were doing this because we were Muslim and based on everything that happened I had to expect they would act on their perceived sense of "entitled" legitimacy to justify violence. Race/Ethnicity and religion are the primary factors for bias based crimes. See FBI Hate Stats).
6.) Fight the corruption (Reflect back truth). I have responsibilities to my community and to myself. All of this would be a waste if there wasn't a level of learning, sharing and fighting of corruption. Based on numerous other issues and community complaints this officer (and likely some of his work buddies) have gotten away with bad behavior for a long long time (A problem with lack of feedback in many law enforcement agencies.). If the justice system can't manage "bad apples" the responsibility falls on "learned" members of society to do the best they can to widen the tunnel vision (I'm not talking politics I'm talking about the integrity of a system that requires when obvious and blatant bad behavior occurs the offending parties must be removed to ensure the institution fulfills its societal duty. i.e. what we pay for. Yes I can support good officers and expect accountability of bad officers as only in politics are they mutually exclusive concepts.).
7.) Thrive and strive for a better society. We can't allow this to happen anymore, in any place, to any person in any circumstance. I advocate for a strong country, a country of inclusion, maximization of human capital, and eradication of corruption where it exists (reduce waste and falsehood). This isn't the first time I have fought against something bigger and this likely won't be the last. I used my moral compass to be my guide and can't always be 100% sure everyone else has the same values (I actually believe most try and do but they can also be subject to prior ways of thinking and pre-existing perspectives. Its probably easier to say what everyone wants to hear but that isn't always the truth and I have come through too much to just reflect back lop sided ignorance. I am grateful to those who did the right thing and I'm concern about those who didn't.) Authorities are entrusted to society but sometimes need a correction in thinking least we continue to have protests and other societal unrest. Its time to universalize our systems (I know! I know! political arguments like to say we are "perfect" but that is rarely the case. We should always seek to improve and adapt and that comes from feedback like this.).
8.) Build a better life. I have had to overcome and adapt throughout my life (From the hypothetical rock from which I crawled out of there was no option). It was a necessity from the humble place from which I have come and the uniqueness of the "tragic gift" that comes with thinking for yourself (Not something I asked for or wanted but nevertheless born with.). Trust me its dangerous to go against established ways of thinking when people have a stake in those ways being "right".
9.) There are still some left over issues as they relate to socializing and volunteering but I believe these will be worked out once the primary aggressions and false information are neutralized and a little tact is applied. I can't really explain better than Sir Isaac Newton when he said "Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy."
10.) Now what? Wait to see if Truth and Integrity has taken root or if it has been exterminated like a weed. Time answers all important questions.
A door to future possibilities is now unlocked 🚪🔏........depending on our leaders, institutions and stakeholders moral conscious.
Sincerely,
"Da Bitch" (as some of the extremists call me) aka The "American" 🤷 (We should probably be a little more inclusive? )
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